Shocking Mid-Week Whiplash: Trump’s “Demented Hoax” Climate Plans & Musk’s Secretive Stumble

It’s sometime around mid-week—time melts here in the Transitionarium—and I’m tucked behind a potted palm as President-elect Donald Trump rants about “demented climate hoaxes” and “idiot pollsters.”

Yesterday, he strolled through these corridors boasting he’ll nuke environmental regs and possibly do foreign political interference “for half the price.”

Today’s no calmer: lawsuits fly, Musk lurks, and security clearance dramas stack like poker chips.

Just another afternoon in this political sideshow.

Foreign Policy Follies: “ATACMS Are Stupid”

Trump snarled at the outgoing administration’s decision to let Ukraine use long-range ATACMS missiles, labeling it “very stupid.” He’s telegraphing that once he’s sworn in, he’ll yank that permission, apparently under the theory that catering to Russia’s sensitivities makes global conflict vanish.

Staffers roll their eyes—just another promise of “I’d fix it all if I were in charge earlier.”

The Climate Circus: “Demented” and Defiant

If you thought Trump’s stance on time zones and daylight savings was brazen, wait until you hear him on climate.

He mocked current climate initiatives as a “demented climate hoax” and vowed to bulldoze environmental regulations, clearing the way for “major investments.”

Translation: fast-track approvals and let the Earth sweat a bit more. I overheard a junior staffer whisper, “Does he even know what greenhouse gases are?” before being shushed by a senior aide.

Legal Fun: Suing Pollsters Now

Remember that pre-election Iowa poll that showed Trump losing? He’s suing the Des Moines Register and pollster Ann Selzer for “brazen election interference.” Apparently, if numbers don’t say “Trump’s winning,” they must be lying.

Unspecified damages—probably “bigly” billions—are on the table.

Staffers are placing bets: will he demand pollsters tally votes by blinking Morse code next time?

Musk’s Magic Act: Always Here, But Not

Here’s where reality fractures further. Rumor has it Musk and Trump are joined at the hip at Mar-a-Lago, discussing staffing and big plans.

Yet the inside scoop is Musk actually isn’t supposed to be near Trump—some spat about showers, gold décor, and foreign interference.

The official line?

They’re as thick as thieves.

The secret truth?

Trump called Musk “an idiot” for offering $100 million to meddle in British politics, bragging he could do it cheaper “in cash, no receipts.”

Oh, and Musk’s top-secret clearance?

Let’s just say the Air Force and the IG are side-eyeing him.

Past drug use, foreign contacts, maybe a few missed travel disclosures—this is like a bad reality show audition tape for “Who Wants A Higher Clearance?” Musk is stuck with limited intel access.

Trump teased him at breakfast, “You want secrets, pay me or clean my gold shower doors,” leaving staff baffled.

DOGE Days: Controversy for Efficiency

Musk’s appointment to co-lead the Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) is raising eyebrows. Critics say this sets him up to regulate (or not) his own companies.

Will he pass a background check for higher-level clearance?

Magic 8-ball says: “Don’t bet on it.”

The Great Contradiction: We Live It

Inside the Transitionarium, contradictions are normal. On one hand, Musk is “always at Mar-a-Lago,” Trump jokes he can’t get rid of him. On the other, Trump privately insults him and restricts his access.

Meanwhile, Trump’s slamming climate rules as if Earth’s his competitor, and wants to rewrite foreign policy overnight.

Staffers have perfected a glazed look that says, “This makes perfect sense,” while internally screaming, “None of this computes!”

Coming Up Next

What’s next?

Maybe Trump will sue the polar ice caps for melting too slowly, or challenge NATO to rock-paper-scissors for world peace.

And Musk?

He might show up in a top hat and tails to declare he’s solved efficiency by firing half the bureaucracy at half the cost—“in cash, no receipts,” naturally.

In the Transitionarium’s twisted logic, every day tops the last. Brace yourself for tomorrow’s absurdity.

I’ll be here, pen in hand, documenting the madness from my hiding spot behind the potted palm.

Yours in poll paranoia, climate confusion, and clearance chaos,
The Anonymous Transitionarium Insider